Goodbye...

On April 1, Tyla returned to foster care. It was one of the most difficult days I've ever had to get through, but not nearly as difficult as the weeks leading up to her departure.

You see, Tyla is a complex kid with equally complex needs. To protect her privacy, I won't go into great detail about it here, but the bottom line is that she had needs that Lisa & I couldn't meet, and challenges that were growing bigger rather than becoming more manageable. Compounding these challenges was the reality that there was a significant amount of information about Tyla's background that we were not made aware of when we were matched with her, and we were receiving very little (if any) support from Social Services in the months following her placement.

Making the decision to return Tyla to foster care was the most difficult and heart-breaking decision either of us has ever had to make. Thankfully, when the dust settled Tyla's former foster family agreed to welcome her back into their home. We hope this made the process of leaving our home easier for Tyla, although she did write us a lengthy letter to make sure we knew that she'd miss us, our house, and our cats.

In return, we wrote a letter to Tyla. As a last goodbye, I will share it with you.


Dear Tyla,

Even though you haven't left our house yet, we already miss you, and so do the cats! Things just won't be the same without you around here when you're gone. We both hope you're really happy at your new home, and have lots of fun with your brothers and sister (and the dogs, too!).

Before you go, we wanted to tell you some of the awesome memories we have of you. You're an amazing kid, and we wish you the very best in life.

1. You're fun, goofy, and good at making us laugh.

2. You are a great cousin and friend.
3. You're tough, and can get through really hard things - yet still be a fun and nice person to be around.
4. You give great hugs.
5. You love stories and reading, and are turning out to be a very good reader.

6. Your little notes always made our day.
7. You were a great sister to Buddy, Parker, and Missy, and they will miss you a lot.
8. You love being outside, and we learned lots about parks, fishing, and our neighbourhood from you.
9. Your love of dancing made us smile. One of our favourite pictures of you is when you were dancing with your new maraca in front of the Christmas tree, and Grandma loved dancing with you at Becky's wedding last fall.
10. You are an all-round fantastic and special person. Don't forget that.

We both love you so much, and will miss you lots and lots. We hope you find fun, joy, laughter, dancing, and lots of great adventures in your life. You will always be a part of our family.

Hugs and kisses,
Mom & Mama

Tyla's Vision of the Future

Tonight, out of the blue, Tyla started talking about "when she's a grown up". What started as a routine round of sticking it to her moms ("When I'm a grown up, I can do whatever I want to.") transformed into an interesting take on how Tyla views her adult life.

Included in her vision was the idea that maybe she could live in one of the houses next to ours (only if one of our neighbours dies, of course), so that she could come for visits in her pyjamas (just in case it gets late and she wants a sleepover) and call me up to go shopping together (she'll write the grocery lists and carry the shopping bags in from the car). She especially liked the idea of being able to choose between her room and grandma's room (aka the spare bedroom) when she sleeps over, and the idea that she could bring Dorothy with her when she comes for lunch or coffee (now her dolly, she'd then be her roommate).

She's also looking forward to sharing a garden ("less work, more vegetables"), recycling yogurt containers (not sure about recycling other things, but she's really committed to taking care of those yogurt containers!), choosing picture frames for her favourite photos, and asking our cat, Missy, if she'd like to move next door with her. Of course this means making important decisions, such as where to buy cat food from, if we can loan her some cat treats, and if we could buy cat toys if she doesn't have enough money left. She's promised us that we'll get regular visits with Missy in return for our generosity.

In fact, right now she's working on a "contract" that includes a picture of how close our houses will be, where her car will be parked (our car is nowhere to be seen, so maybe she's already had our licenses revoked), when we get to see Missy and for how long, what we are to feed Dorothy if she ever comes over unaccompanied (hot dogs with no bun), that we need to promise to use a booster seat whenever Dorothy goes in the car, and what she can and can't play with (yes to the big blocks, no to Lego - she's eaten it before, which evidently caused some pretty severe problems). She's very concerned with making two copies of this important document, so that we can each have a signed copy (which includes a picture of each of us next to our signature, so she can make sure we are who we say we are) to keep until she moves out.

How does this coversation end (for now)? With a clear and emphatic, "Did you know I'm super excited to move out of here, Mama? I just can't wait!" Some days, I feel exactly the same way...

My 2009 in Facebook status updates...

I did this on a whim (oh, what I've managed to have time for over the last few lazy days of vacation!), not thinking much of it. However, when I actually took the time to read over it closely I thought the range of topics in the few status updates that made the summary to be quite fascinating... kind of sums up my year!

Holiday Pics

Nothing introspective, witty, or insighful today... just straight up holiday pictures of Tyla and the fam. Hope you enjoy 'em!

At the Santa Claus Parade.

Hangin' out under the tree with Parker.

Bustin' a groove with her new maracas (brought by Gramma from Mexico) before the big Holiday Concert.

Christmas morning smiles!

Trying out her new Tag reading system.

Skating with Mama, Gramma, and cousin Jake.

Saying goodbye to Lucy before leaving her foster parents' house.

The cats have already laid claim to her new Lightning McQueen chair/bed!

Trying out the Wii (which we've actually had since July, but just set up on New Year's Day!).