The little things...

It's funny how the reality of being a mother creeps up on me sometimes. Even though our transition to motherhood happened very slowly in some ways (over 7 years from start to "finish"), it also happened very quickly (less than 2 months from the day we were match with Tyla to when she moved in with us) in others. That said, the fact that I am now a real, live, stressed out, sleep deprived, nervous mom has been slow to sink in.

This weekend, I found myself taking note of the things that are different in our lives now (I bought a "mom calendar" - never would have done that before). For example, before we became moms, we could quite contentedly sleep in a little bit on weekends, then sit around all morning in our PJ's, drinking coffee and watching reruns of lame 90's sitcoms. Now, we sit around for a bit in our PJ's, drinking coffee (usually cold by the time it's consumed - now I understand why my mom's always reheating her coffee!) and watching really strange "modern" cartoons, colouring pictures of Lightning McQueen, and reminding our daughter to eat her breakfast.


This part of the day does not last long. We are quickly whisked into "high-speed mom mode": making lunch (Didn't we just eat breakfast? Can't we go back to eating brunch at 1:00pm on weekends?), doing laundry (the favourite pyjamas, must-have leggings, and cutest t-shirt must be available for school, of course!), buying groceries... with lots of snacks (we should buy stock in whichever company makes Goldfish Crackers, as well as a cucumber farm), organizing sports schedules, and supervising room cleanings.

Tyla starts school tomorrow. I think that when I walk into the school with Tyla tomorrow morning the reality of my new parental role will really begin to hit me. You see, Tyla will be starting Grade 1 in the same school (cousin) Jake has attended for the past several years... the same school where I've wept through holiday concerts, sporting events, special assemblies, and family BBQs. When my yearning to be a mother was at its peak, just setting foot in the place was guaranteed to get the waterworks going. I would sit there, imagining what it would be like to cheer on my own child, or beam with pride as my kid came on stage, and it would bring me to tears (not just the misty-eyed variety, but serious weeping).

I'm sure there will be a few tears tomorrow (for me, probably not Tyla). In many ways, I had come to believe that the day I would take my own child to school would never come. And now, here it is. Tomorrow, I will probably be the mom in the corner attempting to stifle a sob. But through all the tears, I will be a MOM. Wow.